Mark Morrison

Conifer, Colorado

e2a226a21c962ff9db72948e0b2c9db8“A Sense of Who I Am”

My name is Mark Morrison and the pictures I’ve included will give you a sense who I am, and the journey that has brought me to the place I am today…a happy and reasonably sane gay man enjoying the life I have been given.

I was born in 1957 to a no nonsense father and a very insecure mother who loved me and raised me as best as they could with their emotional limitations. Along
with my younger sister I would say we had a pretty good childhood growing up in a suburb outside of Denver, Colorado.  I was a sensitive little boy who became a nice kid that never gave his parents one bit of trouble growing up.

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At a very early age I developed a relationship with God that kept me a good church kid. I always felt different and “less than” the other boys my age. Being a late bloomer physically didn’t help those feelings of inadequacy as the other boys would taunt me in the communal showers in gym class. Junior High school was a lonely place for me. And then when puberty did finally hit in 10th grade I knew I was attracted to men. Oh NO…I’m a Christian. I can’t have those feelings. My first sexual experience happened when I was 21. Dear God I had opened Pandora’s box big time. The shame and guilt were awful, and I promised God I would never do that again. We all know how that turned out now don’t we?

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So I went to Bible College, became a Youth and Music Pastor and married a nice girl from the church like I was supposed to. We had two beautiful little boys that I adored and cared for with my heart and soul. But my constant struggle with my sexuality ate at me night and day. I tried every Christian thing I could do to get “fixed”. My wife and I divorced after 13 years of trying. I eventually came to learn you can’t fix what isn’t broken.  At the time we divorced I was a producer and on air talent with a Christian television station in Pittsburgh, Pa.  When the wife let everyone know I was gay I lost my job, and the love of my boys for a very long time.  Several dark years followed. But my ever present relationship with God saw me through it all.

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For the last almost 13 years I have been happily partnered to a great guy named Ray. We have an amazing life filled with wonderful adventures and most importantly love for each other. It’s not a perfect relationship, but I thank God for it every day. To me it is satisfying, and where I am supposed to be. I am living an honest life before God and my family. One of my great joys is to have been reconciled with my youngest son Todd. We have a great relationship, and I am so grateful.

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So as I march all too quickly to the big 6 0h, I do so with gratitude and determination to be the best darn Mark Morrison I can be…mentally and physically. I love the wisdom that I am gaining. I don’t              really like looking in the mirror and seeing the ageing process so much, but it’s all part of the experience. Life is such a precious gift and opportunity to make a difference in each other’s lives as gay men. We’re in this together boys. Thanks for letting me share my story with you my brother’s from several other mothers. Hugs all around!

-Mark Morrison

 

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  • http://www.greenbirdhouse.com Dave Allen.

    I loved your “you can’t fix what isn’t broken” comment. Too many of us can relate to that.